Why do I do what i do? What is the motivation of all the activity in my life? What is the underlying purpose of it all? Who am i trying to please? What am i wanting to accomplish? What is it on the inside that really motivates me?
I can think of so many things. Money. Bill paying. Children. Wife. For the pleasing of those who employ me.
But all of these don't feel to me as true. They are real and they plum to a certain depth; but not to the core.
I am reminded today that at the core there is deep peace. There is the "inner child", if you will. A child that has accepted Jesus as the Christ. Not some biblical historical figure that moves slowly through a crowd with a gold pan behind his head. Jesus that laughs. Jesus that cries. Jesus that sweats and lives and reasons. Jesus that burns with passion and even anger. Jesus that suffers.
Jesus that rescues. He is the one that finds the fallen and lifts them up. he is the one that brings to strength the ones who are too weak to walk on their own.
And i am a child. I look up to Him and find in Him all that i need. My motivation is to be with Him. Yes, i want to make Him happy. yes, I want to make Him proud. But i am always brought back to the child that i am to God. I am His child.
I stared at the pictures of my kids today as i prayed for them. When i looked at the youngest i laughed out loud. No reason. Just laughed because he brings me joy. Everything about him pleases me.
And this is my motivation: to bring such joy to God. Perhaps today He just used my son to remind me; "hey Rob, i saw you today and laughed. No reason. You just bring me joy . You are my son. I am a god who takes pleasure in my children too."
Now that goes to the core of who I am and what i am about. I hope to pay bills and please those who employ me. I want to be the best father and husband I can be. But only after I am a son. maybe that is what prayer is all about; to remember the adoption.
No comments:
Post a Comment