Check is in the mail.

<sup>When i was young i loved getting the mail and answering the phone. I can tell i am getting older now because when the phone rings i sometimes groan. When i get the mail i already know that most of it will be useless advertisement and the rest will be bills.

Money, and the responsibility of obtaining it and spending it wisely is an unavoidable part of life. In our family I happen to pay the bills and organize the budget. Stephanie used to but we have changed roles over the years in this. For now she and I are both happier with me doing the bills. The Lord has helped me to create a schedule and a budget that is way beyond my "natural inclination". With His help I actually enjoy paying the bills and taking care of the family in this way. Jesus can make anything pleasurable. The point of life is to do it all with Him. I believe He is leading my family and I into a new place with money. We are coming out of the land of youthful naivety. We are heading into a place of maturity and real adulthood. :) gheesh. :) Just in time for my mid-life crisis sports car, hair plugs, and expensive shades. ha</sup>

<sup>This verse speaks to me today and gives us great promise.

2 Corinthians 9:10-11
10</sup> For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity^e]">[e] in you. ¹¹ Yes, you will be enriched in every way so that you can always be generous. And when we take your gifts to those who need them, they will thank God.

I believe God supplies all my needs. I believe God is increasing our ability in our finances so that we can be even more generous to others in need. I LOVE giving money to people who need it. I love hearing God tell me to GIVE something away. How fun to obey the Lord when He wants to bless someone. Nothing quite like it.

So Lord bring it on. Bring it on is my prayer today! Bring on the financial wisdom and discipline. Bring on the budget! Yes, I just prayed that. Bring on the discipline so you can then unleash the blessing that I can freely share with others in need. All for YOUR GLORY.

How will not fear; I'm going to check the mail.

Confessions from a nervous breakdown

2 Corinthians 1:9 (New Living Translation)

⁹ In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

Troubles, pressures and even pain can serve a good purpose and bring about the most amazing change in our lives. I cant help but think back to 14 years ago when I suffered a nervous breakdown while in graduate school. What causes ones "nerves" to break down? The Doctors explained the physiological reason being that ongoing stress had caused a depletion in the serotonin levels in my brain. Evidently serotonin is, like all other chemicals in ones head, a very important component to maintaining ones mental agility. So as the stress increased year after year the chemical imbalance grew. When the chemicals in my brain reached a tipping point I was found roaming the streets of my University Campus. Thinking back to those days still brings a wave of humiliation in a way. I was proud of myself and my life up to that point. I did not really think I needed a savior. Rich in spirit.

But then in the middle of that mess I woke up as if from a sleep. When I thought I was going to die I stopped relying on myself and started relying on God who raises the dead. Yes, in one moment I accepted the reality that I was in fact poor and in need of saving. When I believed in Christ as The answer He swept over me and through me letting every fiber of my being finally relax. When Jesus says, "come to me if you are weary and I will give you rest for your soul", he means it quite literally.

Today, all these years later I still simply rely and relax. He has healed my chemical imbalance and provided me with the grace to live a life that leans on Him. I can see that through talking with Him and reading all about Him in the Bible I am kept sane. Life is every bit as pressure packed, but I have a God now. Not Rob, but Christ that lives in me. I live by trusting Him now with it all. He is my leader and He leads me beside quiet waters so often. He restores my soul daily. He anoints me and gives me rest. He protects me and provides for me. I thought i would die but in the middle of that pressure i learned to turn to the one who can handle it all.

Father, today I want you to know that i totally trust you. My life is yours. Thank you for loving me and caring for me so much. I'm humbled and yet proud to be your son forever.